still got some good emails

So I will still post a bit from some old emails I had. These are pretty funny i think.

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said, Implants?" She hit me.
3. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
4. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
5. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
6. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
7. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
8. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"
9. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
10. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."